The Archbishop's Memories
by bluegirl-783
Summary: The Archbishop was proud and pleased to marry Clarisse and Joseph..."Finally" and the wedding brings up memories from the past...


THE ARCHBISHOP'S MEMORIES

It was a moment in history, a moment that possibly had never happened before and probably wouldn't again, but one of the men at the centre of the historic moment didn't reflect on that as he gazed at the couple before them, thrilled that they were finally getting married!

His Excellency, Archbishop James Henry Theodore Prior had joined many couples in holy matrimony over the years- and some of them, he hadn't been surprised to discover, hadn't lasted, but it was something about this couple that touched his heart and hoped with all his heart (and a great many prayers) that they would finally be able to be married...and now, it was finally happening!

"_My Lord Archbishop... I would like to take this man as my husband, if you please," _ came from the strong, confident Queen Clarisse Renaldi, looking as unflappable as always, although there was a radiant look in her expression that told the Archbishop (or James, as he had insisted the Queen call him, a sentiment returned by her insistence on him calling her Clarisse) that this was no normal occasion for her- or the man beside her- and it wasn't a normal wedding ceremony for him either.

His joy at the circumstances that had brought the couple in front of him to this moment (although he was also sympathetic to the young Princess and her former fiance who had meant to be married but, somehow, had managed to avoid the ceremony) couldn't be abated- although he had to be very discreet about what he could say and feel- and the most appropriate reaction to this marriage and the request was to raise his eyes heaven word and utter a single word:

_"Finally!"_

When returning to watch the bride and groom, James was surprised and delighted to see a sheepish look pass between them- neither Clarisse nor Joseph had suspected that anyone knew about their relationship, but little did either of them realise was that it had been one of the worst kept secrets in recent history within the palace walls or even in the aristocracy, everyone had known...but, to the credit of the people in the know, none of the press or the general public had known or, if they had, they had not said a word...

"_We are here for a different wedding..." _ he began and the church was instantly silent, the Prime Minister and Her Royal Highness flanking the bride and groom (obviously their witnesses) and the ceremony began, both Clarisse and Joseph listening closely and exchanging a few shy glances before the exchanging of the rings approached and while there was no ring for Joseph (he assumed that that would change quickly enough), he was quiet as he slipped the ring on the Queen's ungloved hand but she was radiant- the look on her face as she looked at Joseph sent chills down James' spine... they truly were in love, he adored her (that was well known) but no one had ever really known how the Queen...Clarisse...felt... but the look on her face at this moment convinced him that she adored him just as much as he did her.

It was truly one of the best moments of his entire time in the church when James declared them 'man and wife' and he was again watching their reactions- the Queen... Clarisse...let out a long, happy sigh, her expression radiant and while Joseph's reaction was more reserved, there was something in his eyes that signalled how deeply he was feeling about this moment.

"_You may kiss the bride," _James added with a proud smile- it felt as if he was marrying a beloved daughter or son- and there was a slight pause, Joseph obviously nervous about kissing his new bride in front of the entire country (not that James blamed him in the slightest) before Clarisse, acting on impulse and emotions from her heart rather than her head, leaned forward and kissed him- a shy, gentle but loving kiss and James could again see how happy they made each other.

"_May I present to you, Mr and Mrs Joseph Bonnell!" _ James called in a loud strong voice and Joseph turned slightly to give him a quizzical look before the sight of Clarisse beside him, her hand in hers, attracted his attention again and he turned back to the wedding guests who were applauding their marriage. Finally, finally, finally- finally, something had gone right for the Queen and her beloved bodyguard who was now her husband!

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It was a little later when they finally met back in his office for the official signing of the marriage register, the rest of the guests having finally left for the reception at the palace- and the Queen had been worried about not having had all this planned before hand- but he was quick to reassure her, although James wasn't quite sure she had heard anything he said as she and Joseph sat in front of his desk, hand in hand, Prime Minister Motaz and Her Royal Highness again flanking them.

The paperwork was over and done with handily and James again had a moment of tenderness as, upon declaring them 'officially' husband and wife, he caught the expressions on their faces and then the way they looked at each other... they really were meant to be together!

It was only moments later, after they had all gone, that James had a chance to sit back in his comfortable leather chair and reflect on what he had witnessed just an hour before...truly, a miracle, before his mind began to reflect back on other moments he had witnessed (on purpose and accidentally) within the royal family over the years... there were many...

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It was a bright June morning, a day that had been forecast as cloudy but, fortuitously, had dawned fine and bright- the perfect day for a wedding, particularly the wedding of the Crown Prince of Genovia and his twenty one year old bride.

James Prior had just taken his vows, was still a new priest and waiting for his posting (hopefully to remain in Pyrus or somewhere in Genovia it was his homeland and he didn't particularly want to leave) but today, he had been asked to assist in the wedding ceremony of the Crown Prince- that is, stand at the side of the Archbishop, His Excellency William James Herbert Jones, and assist in anyway possible during the ceremony

Of course he was well aware of the Crown Prince- he was the heir to the throne and, at 32, had waited a long time before choosing a bride, although rumour around the country was that his parents, Pierre and Annabelle, had chosen the twenty one year old Lady Clarisse Elizabeth Le Roche, not him. However, it was only speculation and he had been advised not to listen to any such speculation:

"His Royal Highness has chosen this young woman and they will be married- so I do not wish to hear any other rumours to this affect," Archbishop William had informed him sternly early on during the engagement period.

So the day had finally arrived and he was now patiently standing at the side of the Archbishop (a man he admired for his dedication to the church and his parish but found, personally, rather pompous and too talkative and he hoped that, if he was one day to become Archbishop, he would NOT be like that) at the altar, the church filled to the brim with aristocracy, both the bride and groom's sides filled, and the nervous groom and his best men standing in front of them, waiting for the bridesmaids to begin their walk down the aisle.

Actually, James noticed, watching the groom (finding him more interesting than the guests), he discovered that the man (he was older than him by a few years) wasn't actually nervous, he was joking around and laughing with his grooms men, barely noticing the guests or the occasion (James sensed that he was somewhat indifferent to the occasion, not that he would be able to say anything to anyone- he would be severely reprimanded by the Archbishop) and that he winked at a guest (a young woman in blue) that happened to catch his eye...

He sincerely hoped that this wasn't an omen for the future...he actually liked the young woman who was to be Rupert's Queen.

At the thought of the future Queen, timing impeccable, the organ behind them began playing and suddenly the whole atmosphere of the church changed- any straggling guests arrived at their pews and, as the bridesmaids appeared, the groom and his grooms men all stiffened and turned instantaneously sober as they turned towards the other half of the wedding party.

Finally, after the procession of the 6 bridesmaids finally arrived at the altar, the music changed, became more imperious and the entire congregation stood as a whole before a vision in white appeared in the doorway of the church on the arm of the tuxedoed man who was obviously her father, and began their walk down the aisle.

James had only seen the young bride to be a few times- he wasn't in charge of the wedding preparations or anything involved with the royal couple- but he was again struck at her beauty, which was obvious through the veil...and when he looked at the Crown Prince, he knew that he too was struck at the beauty of his wife to be... maybe this marriage work... maybe an arranged marriage would evolve into love...

Once she arrived at the altar, there was a slight pause before Lady Le Roche's father handed her arm to her groom and then, once Rupert had received it, he sat down next to a woman who was obviously his wife and Lady Le Roche's mother- again, not a great omen for the future...

James watched as the wedding ceremony proceeded- he knew that there wasn't a great deal for him to do and had suspected that the Archbishop had simply wanted him to know what happened during a wedding ceremony, adding further credence to his ambition to become the Archbishop) but he did notice a few things, including the way Lady Le Roche's hands and voice trembled as she recited her vows and slipped a ring on the Prince's finger (something that probably wouldn't remain there long, James surmised, before he inwardly chastised himself- he didn't know either of them all that well, so he couldn't make any assumptions about their relationship, but he still had the feeling...) before the Prince returned the vows, sounding calm and confident, and there was a moment, a look between the two of them before the Archbishop declared them husband and wife, that gave James hope... hope for their future, hope for their marriage and hope for the country that they would one day rule...maybe they would truly make a formidable couple... and he sincerely hoped so...

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The day wasn't exactly as bright and fine as their wedding day, several years earlier, but the occasion was still a special one- the christening of their second son, Eduard Christophe Phillipe Gerard Renaldi. Their first son, the now Crown Prince of Genovia, had been christened quietly and without too much fanfare, due to the fact that the King had passed away and Prince Rupert was now King, but it had been decided that at least their second son would have the fanfare that their first child should have had.

The Archbishop was again presiding over the christening and James was again simply a witness and and an assistant (he had his own parish just outside Pyrus, but he was spending more and more time in Pyrus), but he also had the chance to observe the couple in front of him and there were a few changes in the couple.

The couple were standing in front of the baptismal font, the young Queen holding the infant in the traditional christening gown worn by past generations of the Renaldi family, the baby surprisingly alert and looking around, the King standing nearby, 2 year old Prince Pierre standing (or rather, squirming) beside him and the godparents- a member of parliament and his wife- standing opposite them. The major difference was that the King looked older (understandable, considering he was running a country) but when the little Prince began to whimper, he barely looked at the child or at his wife- he was keenly eyeing the congregation and when he had to respond to the Archbishop during the service, he did so with barely disguised boredom and indifference. The Queen, on the hand, had definitely matured since James had last seen her- motherhood and marriage had helped her- but while she was definitely more youthful than her husband, she looked unhappy- a look or a flicker of her eyes to her husband made that more than clear.

The baby immediately erupted into unhappy wails as the priest made the sign of the cross on his forehead, much to the embarrassment of the godmother who was nursing him, but Rupert simply shot a look at his wife- not a particularly friendly look- and she silently, her face reddening in embarrassment, took her son back and began to rock him gently, his sobs finally dying down as, almost simultaneously, his two year old brother began to fidget himself and starting to cry (a need for attention- his brother was obviously gaining all of the attention and he wanted some for himself), but his father only shot him a look, gripping his shoulders tightly between his hands and the little boy immediately stopped, although he was still whining softly.

James watched them with interest- he had already begun to hear rumours about the marriage (even where he was) and while he wasn't expressing an opinion either way in the matter, this scene between the Queen and King was something that he had to consider...maybe there was something to those rumours, although he would never be able to mention it to the Archbishop- the man was very fond of the King and he refused to hear anything bad about the man.

Still, they had only been on the throne for 2 years and with a young family, it was perfectly understandable that there was strain on both of them- hopefully, once the children grew up a little and they settled into their roles as King and Queen, they would relax and be able to enjoy their marriage... he hoped so.

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The years continued to roll by, and while James spent less time in Pyrus (although there were rumours that he was being considered as the next Archbishop of Genovia), he spent enough time in Pyrus to be able to continue watching the Renaldi family and note any changes in the family.

The couple were proving to be a formidable couple, as James had hoped, in Genovian politics and the affairs of the country; they were also providing to be popular, with both the King and Queen always attracting a crowd whenever they made a public appearance together (or apart) and when their sons joined them, the crowds usually went wild.

His Majesty was thoroughly involved in the running of the country- he attended almost all meetings of parliament, travelled a great deal and knew that he was well respected within the international community, as proved by the many visits from other representatives from other countries.

Her Majesty was just as involved, although not as heavily as her husband- she had her own agenda, a great many charities that she patronised and other interests that differed from her husband. She was still as lovely looking as ever and was usually spending most balls on the dance floor with members of parliament, but it was also a little disconcerting to realise that most men- including her husband- didn't appreciate that she was an intelligent woman who could contribute more to the running of the country if they wished, which they didn't.

The two sons were 'conscripted' into the royal family 'business' (as Rupert referred to themselves) as soon as they were old enough- even just to be seen in public, as part of the family, was considered enough- and while the older son was dutiful and accepted what he was told to do, the younger son (feeling that since he wasn't the heir) constantly challenging his father and causing innocent little mistakes and pranks in public that angered his father.

However, they were both faithful, respectful and deferential to their mother and she made sure that they knew they were loved for themselves- of course, nannies had come into their lives from an early age, but Her Majesty had made sure that the boys knew that she was their mother and they could come to them with any problems. His Majesty was considerably more distant with his sons but it was clear that he was proud of both of them and was already grooming Pierre for his future title.

They all attended church every week and it was during the times that James filled in for the Archbishop, who was having health problems, that he really got to know the royal family- particularly the Queen and Prince Pierre- both Rupert and Phillipe attended faithfully but they usually tried to avoid it whenever possible and usually mixed within the crowd, leaving before anyone else. Phillipe, James could understand- he was a young man who was growing up in the public eye and was trying to be a normal young man under the circumstances- but Rupert...he had been polite but distant with James, probably because he was the junior priest in the hierarchy and thus unimportant... but James hadn't really been able to develop a sense of his personality...

The Crown Prince and Her Majesty were quite, different, both of them obviously taking deep comfort from the church services themselves and the sermons, as he had witnessed their concentrating expressions during the services, which was good- at least they could receive some joy and comfort in church, being exactly like everyone else when the other aspects of their lives were much different from the rest of the world.

"Good morning, Your Majesty... Your Highness," he suddenly realised that the two of them were standing in front of him- having already been happily greeted by the Archbishop (who was still chatting with His Majesty) and the Queen gave him a warm smile.

"Good morning, Father- it was again a wonderful service this morning and the sermon truly made me think."

"As it did I," the nineteen year old Prince Pierre agreed and James had to marvel at how much he looked like his mother. "I think sermons really should make people think about their lives and how they can change them."

"That's what our Lord wants us to do- the sermons are simply messages from Him and we have to listen to what he is trying to say, we are merely the messengers... .but I hope that you told His Excellency about your thoughts," he waved back towards the man in question and Pierre nodded.

"We did- but he wanted us to compliment you as well- he said that you contributed a great deal to the sermon."

"I did?" James was surprised- this had never happened before, although he usually did contribute an idea or two for his sermons but William had never given him credit, although he didn't usually expect it.

"You seem surprised," the Queen arched an eyebrow at him. "William has been telling us on several occasions that you are quite a good sermon writer and are very dedicated to your job...and that your parish truly appreciates you as their priest and confidant."

Now James was truly taken aback- had William really been saying all that about him? He had never suspected and now... he was displaying his bemusement to the Queen and her eldest son.

"I'm sure he was just being kind..." he finally spluttered.

"I'm sure you're just being modest," the Queen smiled warmly at him. "Either way, we always appreciate the work you do in the parish and in Genovia...and I'm sure that you will be rewarded in one way or another in the end..." before she moved on, Pierre on her heels and James was left more than a little taken aback...

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However, Her Majesty obviously must have known something that he didn't because, only months later, James was officially recalled to Pyrus and Archbishop made clear that he was being groomed to be the future Archbishop of Genovia.

"But... but..." he couldn't help but stammer- he was barely 45 and while he appreciated the honour, he wasn't sure he was ready for the role as he quickly admitted to His Excellency.

"Nonsense- you are exactly what this country needs- you are forward thinking, more open minded (although I may disapprove of that) and have a keen sense of people in this country... and I also had a recommendation from Her Majesty herself in regards to your promotion."

"Her... Her Majesty?"

"Indeed- yes, the royal family does have an interest in church matters (although not much) but Her Majesty was keen to ensure that you had a recommendation... just in case you weren't going to be considered for the role," his mouth twisted into a strange smile and James couldn't help but feel embarrassed at the royal intervention. "However, she needn't have worried, as you were my first choice... and how do you feel about it?"

"Extremely honoured... and if it's in His will, then I will accept that."

So, his training at the side of the Archbishop began in earnest, although he did also spend some time in his former parish, and it became common knowledge within the country that James was being groomed for the role of Archbishop, and the years began to roll by again.

He had been fearful when he came across Her Majesty at church services- she was now coming alone as His Majesty was working harder than ever and the young princes were in college, Phillipe in America and Pierre in Oxford- but she had been pleasant and warm to him as always, and he had begun to notice that her bodyguard (his name Joseph Bonnell, he had learnt) was usually close by.

It was only a year or two after he had been recalled to Pyrus and was learning more about his role, taking over more and more services and responsibilities as the Archbishop's health began to deteriorate and he had just finished his sermon for a Sunday service and was about to walk down to the manse's garden for some meditation before an evening service- he had a great appreciation for gardening, although he didn't have any garden gardening skills himself- when he noticed that Her Majesty was hovering near the gates of the garden, her bodyguards only metres away.

"Your Majesty?" he hurried towards her and she turned to look at him, her face oddly flushed and her eyes looked red. "Are you alright?"

"I was wondering... would it be possible if I could speak with you for a moment?"

"Of course, my dear, would the garden be appropriate?"

"Yes," Her Majesty said in a choked up voice and his concern grew- one quick glance at Joseph confirmed that he too was worried about the Queen, before he gently guided her into the garden and eased her down into a nearby garden chair.

"Are you alright, Your Majesty?" he asked solicitously, pulling a chair up close to hers and she sighed before she finally looked at him and James was suddenly struck at how blue her eyes really were.

"May I ask that you call me Clarisse... in private, of course? It's just that it's so isolating to be called Your Majesty by everyone and I don't want my priest to call me that... is that alright?"

"It would be an honour, Clarisse... and you can call me James," and he was gratified to see the ghost of a smile on her face. "So, what can I do for you?"

"I don't know what to say...it's so hard...Phillipe came home yesterday...and he's married..."she choked out and James was immediately startled.

"I'm sorry?"

"Phillipe is married- and Rupert is furious... in fact, he is barely speaking to either him or his wife...and he's blaming me..." Clarisse buried her face in her hands for a long moment and James sat there, deeply sympathetic and wishing that he could help in someway.

"How do YOU feel about Phillipe's marriage?" he finally asked, when she had calmed down and the Queen sighed.

"I don't know... he's so young... yes, I was married young but it was a different time and a different age and I don't want Phillipe to endure..." she trailed off and James realised that she had been about to reveal more about her own marriage than she had consciously wanted to.

"What about the young lady? Do you know very much about her?"

"Her name is Helen Thermopolis, they met during their first year at college and...she's pregnant," Clarisse suddenly dissolved into tears again and this time, James didn't hesitate to rest his hand on her shaking shoulders.

"I see... well, at least he married her, that's one less problem..." and Clarisse looked up to glare at him.

"He shouldn't be married at all! He's only twenty!" she snapped.

"It doesn't mean that he shouldn't be married if he has made the choice and feels that this woman is for him," he said calmly. "Have you asked him how he truly feels about this woman?"

"He hasn't mentioned her before now, and suddenly...he arrives with her and makes two announcements!"

"Have you given him a chance to explain?" James asked quietly and Clarisse paused for a moment.

"I don't think I did...although I didn't have an opportunity as Rupert..." she trailed off again, looking ashamed and unhappy.

"Maybe you should give him a chance to explain...maybe he will surprise you and maybe the young woman will as well," he paused for a moment. "How do you really feel about this, Clarisse?" She looked surprised- no one had truly asked about how she was really feeling about this marriage- she had simply been caught up in the whirlwind that was Rupert (and, to be truthful, that was what was really upsetting her) but, deep down, she knew that she would support her son, no matter what and James could sense her determination by the set of her jaw.

"I will support my son no matter what," she said finally. "I am not very pleased about the marriage but if Ms Thermopolis is who he loves, then I will support him...them, no matter what, and I do not care what Rupert says," she said with great determination and James was again struck again by how deeply intelligent the woman was- and how emotional, although she was never really allowed to show her emotions in public. "Thank you, James," she suddenly turned to him with a grateful expression. "I didn't think that I would be able to come to an easy decision so quickly, but...thank you."

"It was my pleasure, Your Majesty... Clarisse," he amended quickly as she raised an eyebrow. "You know where I am if you should ever need me again..."

"Your Majesty," came another voice into the conversation and they both turned to see the bodyguard Joseph standing there. "We really should be returning to the palace- His Majesty will be wondering where you are."

"Thank you, Joseph, I'm ready to leave," Clarisse, suddenly the Queen again, stood up and turned to James with a smile. "Thank you, Father."

"Any time, Your Majesty," he bowed his head to her and then followed her and Joseph out of the garden, idly noting that Joseph was standing close to the Queen and had his hand on the small of her back but it wasn't bothering her in the slightest... in fact, she turned slightly and gave him a small smile as they made their way back to the car...

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The Archbishop unexpectedly died the following year (although not completely unexpected, his health had been deteriorating for years) and James was quickly promoted to His Excellency, the Archbishop of Genovia, the ceremony subdued out of respect for the late Archbishop.

The church was full to the brim with attendees, including the royal family (even His Majesty had chosen to come) but he was happy to see Her Majesty there and to see the genuine pleasure in her eyes at his new role. They had gradually become friends over the past year- Her Majesty always stopping for a chat after church- and she had come to see him again when Prince Phillipe chose to divorce his wife (bowing to pressure from his father) and send her and their new daughter home to San Francisco, under the proviso that none of the royals were to contact them until the young princess turned eighteen, a proviso that puzzled James and hurt Her Majesty, although she pretended that she was fine with the decision.

"Still, it must hurt that you have a granddaughter that you are not allowed to contact or see," James had said sympathetically during one of her personal visits to him, always accompanied by Joseph- someone else she obviously trusted implicitly- and she sighed.

"It does, but I have learnt to accept Phillipe's decision...and one day, we will meet again- although..." she trailed off and James didn't have to wonder to know that she was wondering whether the child would actually want to know her father's family.

Nevertheless, she had forged ahead with her charity work and her various responsibilities, and while James knew that her husband's affairs deeply pained her (and she had admitted as such during her visits, often dissolving into tears), she had a job to do and she was getting on with it the best way she could, much to his admiration.

Her sons were back in Genovia and fulfilling their duties as the Crown Prince and the spare (as Phillipe had often joked), Pierre usually at his father's side as he continued his training as the future King, Phillipe usually attending functions with his mother and fulfilling his own responsibilities, and there was a great deal of respect and admiration for both sons- and that the Queen had done an excellent job raising them.

"It was all thanks to the nannies that we always had!" Clarisse had protested when James had mentioned it to her once and he had laughed.

"Never the less, you were present in their lives more than you will admit, and it's that presence that makes them the wonderful young men they are today."

However, it was only days after his investiture when the world of the royal family turned upside down again, and no one was completely sure that it would ever be righted again...

"Your Excellency?" James heard a voice from above as he sat at his desk, surrounded by paperwork and trying to sort out his schedule for the week (his assistant was away with the flu at the moment and he didn't like using others), and he looked up to see an anxious looking Prince Pierre standing there. At 23, he was a handsome young man, and there were already rumours about when he would marry- and his father had made it clear that he would be married before he turned thirty and before he became King- but the young man seemed happier fulfilling his responsibilities, including attending church every Sunday with his mother. But today, he looked...worried and confused...

"Your Highness, what can I do for you?" he started to rise from his seat but Pierre shook his head as he sank down in a chair opposite the desk.

"Please... call me Pierre..."

"Of course... Pierre. What can I do for you?"

"I need your help...and your understanding."

"Of course, my son, you have them," James was starting to get a little concerned- the young man looked so anguished and his body language

"I need to tell you something... but I'm not sure how to say it..."

"Take a deep breath, Pierre and take your time... I am not going anywhere," he said reassuringly and the younger man did just as he instructed, letting the air out slowly and gently before relaxing back in his chair and closing his eyes for a moment, James watching him carefully before he opened his eyes and looked at the older man with eyes as blue as his mother's.

"I...I need your help...I know I am the future of this country, that has been drummed into me since I was a young boy, and I know I have a duty to the country and my family... but I have doubts."

"Doubts about your capabilities?"

"Yes... and doubts that I even want to do it at all..."

"What makes you say that, Pierre?"

"I attend to all my responsibilities- and it seems that I am getting more and more daily from my father- and I enjoy them, I need to enjoy them, but...I feel that I am not meant to be the next King of Genovia."

There was a pause as James, shocked, tried to think of words that were sympathetic and non judgemental, before Pierre continued:

"I know I was born for this role, my father always tells me, and that I owe him everything... but I... can't...I won't...I..." he buried his face in his hands and James immediately moved away from his desk and sat down in the chair next to Pierre and rested his hand on his head.

"Pierre, you are only twenty three and your father will still be ruling this country for a long time to come- it is not as if you will be King tomorrow...I know you have a great many responsibilities to attend to- and it is admirable that you are doing so much for your country, but I think you are just feeling a little overwhelmed..."

"I'm not, I know I'm not," Pierre suddenly cried, lifting his head up and looking directly at James. "I have never felt that I should be King... I'm not like Phillipe, charming, handsome, intelligent and have a way with people; I'm not like my father- dutiful or my mother... everyone loves my mother...I'm me and I have felt that

I shouldn't be a part of the royal family... I don't WANT this destiny!"

James listened silently and with compassion- this was no momentary panic, this was a serious crisis in conscience and the younger man was convinced that his life would be ruined if he was to be King.

"If you weren't to be King, Pierre, what would you wish to do with your life?"

"I know but I cannot say... it's impossible!"

"Tell me, my son- it will not go beyond these four walls."

"I wish... I want to be a priest, like you Father," Pierre finally said, looking up at him and, instead of being anguished and angry, there was peace and a determination in his eyes that immediately convinced James of what he knew and what he wanted. "Please help me, Father, whatever you want me to do, I will do... but please help me..."

It was a mess, it truly was, and James didn't know how to advise the younger man, so clearly anguished but trusting him completely- he couldn't go against the royal family but, as a cleric, he couldn't go against the teachings of the church and this included guiding troubled young people. He also knew that he couldn't go against his conscience- and his conscience was, at the moment, fighting between loyalty to the royal family (and fear of retribution from the King) and loyalty to this young man before him.

After a few moments careful consideration- while also allowing the young man to collect himself- James made his decision and opened his mouth...

"Well, Pierre...

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The fall out from the Prince's subsequent decision was immense- in fact, James was not only concerned about the young man himself but the consequences for all involved, selfishly including himself. He didn't actually give him any specific options, or tell him what he should do, but Pierre had looked a lot calmer when he had left- "Thank you, Father" and it was only days later when it was announced that His Royal Highness Prince Pierre Renaldi would not be taking the throne- he was abdicating for his younger brother- and that was when the fall out began.

The King refused to come to church after the announcement, and the Queen was unusually cold with him whenever she attended (which made him suspect that she suspected his hand in her son's decision) but while the young man copped a lot of flack for 'betraying his country' (and he was almost crucified in the press), he kept on with his duties for the time being and his brother stood by him, almost openly challenging the press whenever they attacked him or his brother.

James himself was more than worried about the royal family, but he also had a touch of concern about his own position- what if the hierarchy in the church felt that he had involved himself in a private royal matter and had forced the young Prince's hand, convincing him to turn away from his royal responsibilities and join the church (and he had already met a few accusations in the press and in some of his staff, although he had managed to avoid commenting as such) but one meeting with one of his superiors convinced him that he had done the right thing.

"Your role at that time was to listen, not judge and support the young man- HE made the decision, not you, and you were merely doing your role as a counsellor."

Sadly, he wasn't quite as sure that the royal family would see it that way, although Pierre kept coming to church and he could see that the decision had given him peace.

It was only two weeks after the announcement was made that, while in his study, his aide informed him that Her Majesty was waiting outside to see him, that James suddenly felt nervous about what would happen now- and his anxiety increased when he saw the Queen's incensed expression., Joseph again at her heels.

"Why would you say something like that to my son? Why would you encourage him to forget his responsibilities to the family and the country?" she hissed angrily at him and James could see Joseph holding her arm, preventing her from moving any closer.

"I had nothing to do with his decision, Clarisse..."

"Your Majesty, thank you very much!"

"I had nothing to do with his decision, Your Majesty- he needed someone to listen to him and that's all I did. I felt that I couldn't give him any advice- but he wanted my support and I support him and his decision- whole heartedly," he said firmly and, to his surprise, he discovered that it was true.

"It was a personal family matter- why didn't he come to me?"

"Maybe he felt that he needed someone away from the family to give him guidance and listening."

"I would have listened!"

"But would you have judged him?" he asked quietly, noting that Joseph was nodding approvingly, and Clarisse's eyes flashed again.

"I would NEVER judge my son on such an important matter!"

"But are you thinking about this as a Queen or his mother?"

The question momentarily stopped Clarisse- he could see she hadn't considered the way she viewed this issue- before she frowned again.

"That's not the point."

"I think it is," James persisted, sounding stronger and more sure of himself. "As Queen, I can understand your reaction- but you always insisted that motherhood was always your priority...can you really punish your son for making a decision that will make him happy?"

"You don't understand... Rupert is threatening to disown him completely and banish him from the country... I couldn't bear to lose my son, I couldn't!" her voice cracked at the last few words and James knew that her anger wasn't at him, but at her husband.

"Would you forgive yourself if you force him to choose his country when his calling is the church?" he asked quietly and the words struck a blow to the Queen.

"No, no I wouldn't," she said softly but definitely. "You're right, I wouldn't be able to do it- the happiness and well being of my sons IS my top priority... you made me remember that, I had forgotten momentarily...and... I had known he was wavering for a long time... does that make me a bad mother for not pursuing it?" she sank slowly down into a chair and James pulled another one up next to him as Joseph hovered around them.

"No- if he had wanted you to know, he would have told you...and I think he just needed to have someone who would have listened to him, who didn't have a vested interest in his future... it was nothing to do with you, Your Majesty, it was just that he didn't want to hurt you."

"I know, that's what Joseph said," she smiled vaguely in the direction of her bodyguard and James noted the look he was giving her, a mixture of tenderness and concern, and it made James wonder whether there was more to their Queen/bodyguard relationship than met the eye, not that he blamed them- the King hadn't even tried to ingratiate himself with James, he treated him impersonally and with a touch of impatience and he kept hearing more and more rumours about relationships he was pursuing outside his marriage... and while it was not his place to judge (and he tried not to), James was more concerned about the Queen than anyone else.

"So?" she drew him back into the conversation. "What do I do now?"

"Just support him- I know it will be hard, and you will, I fear meet a lot of opposition, particularly from His Majesty, but I will pray for you and your family- and you need to keep remembering that Pierre and his happiness mean everything to you."

"I will," she suddenly looked determined, as she had always been, and James smiled- he was very fond of the Queen. "I will do the right thing for my son- my son."

0000000

If that was the toughest time in the life of the royal family, James wouldn't have blamed the Queen if she had had to pause slightly before continuing on with her life, but it was only a matter of years before she had two tragedies befall her, both within a year- the deaths of her husband and her beloved son.

Rupert had been sick for quite a while- and Clarisse had been taking on more and more of his responsibilities over the years (and doing quite a marvellous job, earning the respect of the country and the parliament, much to their surprise) and James hadn't been surprised at the respect she had earned, although she had been surprised.

"It's as almost as if they had thought that no mind of my own!" she had commented one day upon one of his visits to see the King- the King wasn't necessarily any more pleasant than he had been before the abdication, but James felt that it was part of his role to help support the dying man and his family- and he knew that the Queen appreciated his visits.

He was there at the end, to give him the last rites, as were Clarisse and their two sons, and the Queen was remarkably composed during the last moments with her husband as well as afterwards, and when James asked how she was feeling (he suspected that she was numb and that hadn't really taken in what had happened),she said calmly but almost indifferently:

"I will miss my husband dreadfully- we were very fond of each other and he was a great King- he loved his country very much and we will all miss him, but I cannot pretend that I was truly ever passionately in love with him- or he me."

It was also during this time that James noticed that Joseph was around her a lot more- usually hovering in the background but he had the feeling his presence comforted her and that she trusted him more than any of the other men surrounding her. He had heard whispers that Joseph was greatly fond of the Queen (although no one knew how the Queen was feeling) and while he knew he should disapprove of the relationship (as it was), he knew that Clarisse had suffered a great deal of emotional pain during her marriage to Rupert (mostly due to his infidelities and increasing indifference to her) and he knew that he had no right to judge- if she was seeking happiness else where, then Joseph, an honourable, decent man who obviously cared about her, was probably her best choice.

It was Phillipe's funeral, less than a year later, when James was truly worried about the Queen- unlike her dignified composure during the last illness of her husband and the funeral preparations (as well as the funeral itself), in this instance, she completely fell apart and it was a constant struggle for her to hold it together publicly during the funeral preparations.

She would barely talk about her pain, even to James, but he suspected that Joseph knew more than he was saying when he one day came quietly up to him and asked whether they should cancel her public appearances after the funeral, just until she recovered.

"I think that would be the best idea... I know there will be people who will complain, but Her Majesty needs time to heal... no parent should have to bury a child," he said quietly- he too was grieving, as he had been fond of the young man who had been ready to be King- he had grown up a great deal since his early marriage and divorce, taking on more responsibility (particularly after the abdication of his brother) and there had been a seriousness about him that added maturity to his thoughts and actions- and he had come to church with his mother more regularly, adding to James his concerns about his mother.

"Are you sure she's not working too hard- I think that she's looking tired..."

"I'm sure she is resting well... but have you told her about your concerns?"

"No, but I have told Joe and he's worried too."

"Well, then I assume that she knows how you are both feeling and I'm sure that she will slow down..."

"I hope so, I don't want her to get sick or anything..." he looked worried and James smiled, proud that the younger man was so worried about his mother.

It was this anecdote that he retold to Clarisse the evening before the funeral- he had wanted to come and he was the only one she was seeing, although Joseph and Pierre were both in the room with them- she had smiled slightly.

"He had always did worry about my health... he always thought I was working too hard, even when I wasn't..."

"But you were, Maman... you never listened to any of us," Pierre chided gently and Clarisse rolled her eyes.

"Nonsense..."

"No, not nonsense, you do work too hard," Joseph stepped in and she stopped and stared at him for a long moment, James and Pierre suddenly outsiders in a world that they suspected but now could see in front of them- the two of them, the Queen and the bodyguard, were in a relationship and, for once, they were letting their guard down in front of people.

"I know, it's just..." she said slowly. "I...I..." before she suddenly broke down, burying her face in her arms, her sobs heartbreaking and agonizing...but before James or Pierre could move over to comfort her, Joseph was there first and she collapsed into his arms, burying her face in his chest and he wrapped his arms around her tightly and, again, it was almost as if neither James nor Pierre were there...

0000000

Yes, Her Majesty had certainly had a difficult time, with the unfaithfulness of her husband and the untimely deaths of her son and husband (and she had admitted that, despite his infidelity, she had always been very, very fond of him, not only for the sake of their children and the country, but because she liked him) and she had spent much of her life devoted to Genovia, giving her life to duty and responsibility, but James was genuinely thrilled with what had transpired today and he knew that she would be genuinely happy for the rest of her life, happy and in love.

He was just about to get out of his chair, to go and change before going to the reception- he had been invited by the Queen herself, long before the events of today, and he was planning to go for a little while, just to see his radiant friend and her husband again for a moment, witness their happiness and pray for them to have a good long life together.

Just then, there was a gentle knock on the door and, startled, he looked up to see Her Majesty...or Clarisse, as she had told him to call her many years ago when she knew she could trust him, standing in the doorway.

"Your Majesty...!" he started and she smiled.

"James, we've been friends for a long time and you know that I asked you to call me Clarisse," she said calmly as she walked towards him.

"I'm sorry... where's Joseph?"

"He's talking to Scott and Charlotte, just outside."

"What can I do for you... Clarisse?" he stood in front of her and smiled- it was good to see her so happy and alive again, particularly after the loss of her son...

"I wanted to thank you for today, for giving us our wedding..."

"There is nothing to thank me for, it was my pleasure to be able to do this for you," James said humbly.

"There is," she took one of his hands in hers and squeezed it gently. "There is... you have been a wonderful friend and counsellor to my family and I over the years and I want you to know that I appreciate every moment- and I hope that Pierre will fit in here well."

"He will- he's a serious, sensitive, compassionate young man who will do very well here...why do you think I requested him specifically?" he gave her a smile and Clarisse smiled back.

"He always looked up to you, wanted to be like you...and I couldn't disapprove of you... I'm just glad he's home."

"I'm sure he's glad he's home too... you know, I've been encouraging him to return for years..."

"He kept in touch with you?" Clarisse only seemed a little surprised.

"Of course he did, and I was glad to give him advice- you don't mind, do you? I was going to tell you but... I never seemed to see you very often...but you don't mind, really?"

"Of course not, I'm glad that he was keeping in touch with others in Genovia...thank you for that as well," her eyes glimmered with tears for a moment before she looked away and then looked back at him, a tiny smile on her face- it was an emotional day for her and he knew that- he had to admit that she looked more vulnerable when she was emotional and it made her seem more human. "Anyway, I came in here for a purpose and it was not only to thank you for today, but to ask... how long have you known about Joseph and I?"

"Well, I... I'm not quite sure..." James stammered for a moment, not wanting to embarrass his Queen with the extent of his knowledge- their relationship had been a well guarded secret- but a secret that had been instantly discovered almost from the moment someone saw the two of them together.

"James..." Clarisse gave him a Queen-like look, her blue eyes suddenly turning intense and James sighed- he never really could avoid the look she gave him whenever she wanted information, not that he had ever really been exposed to it... he wondered if Joseph was immune to her look.

"Alright, alright...I have known about it for quite a while...even before the King passed," he added and Clarisse immediately turned white. "However," he added hastily. "I am not here to judge or to create complications... I know I am supposed to counsel and to look after those in need but I'm not here to judge... and I want you to know that I approve of your marriage to Joseph- he is a fine man and obviously loves you a great deal and that's what really matters, doesn't it- love?"

"Is it?" Clarisse seemed suddenly even more vulnerable, almost shy and reticent.

"It is- your sons loved you, your granddaughter loved you, the country loves you... and now, your husband loves you... and I'm sure that Rupert loved you in his own way."

"I hoped he did."

"He did- he was fond of you and he did love you in his own way, but sometimes..."

"Sometimes his own needs superseded what he was supposed to do or feel... sometimes duty got in the way..."

"Exactly...anyway, to return to your earlier questions- yes, I approve of Joseph, he is a fine man, someone who has done his job very, very well over the years and has been devoted to you almost from the beginning- that's something you have never doubted, have you?"

"No."

"He's always been there for you- I have seen that, even from the most innocent scenes I have witnessed, such as him escorting you from the church after Rupert's funeral...and I know that he loves you very, very much and that you truly deserve it... and I think that both Rupert and Pierre would approve of your remarriage, as I'm confident that Pierre is feeling the same way."

"Thank you," was all Clarisse could say, her eyes brilliant with tears before she leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I know that's probably not appropriate... but thank you."

"It has been my pleasure..." he said simply and they both knew that James was referring not only to the wedding earlier, but for what he had witnessed over the years- the marriage, the children, the pain and suffering- and he hadn't said a word, not one word of judgement or condemnation... he had simply been there as a friend and someone she could turn to in times of crisis...

She had been in pain and he had witnessed it, not that he would have been able to say anything to anyone, but he had always been very fond of her and now that she was married to the love of her life, he was very, very, very happy for her...

Just then, there was another knock on the door and Joseph almost timidly poked his head around the door frame.

"I'm sorry to disturb, but it's time for us to leave, Clarisse."

"Of course, Joseph, I'm sorry I held your wife up," James said apologetically as Joseph joined them in the room.

"It wasn't him, it was me that was holding everything up," Clarisse contradicted as she hastily yet delicately dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief even James hadn't seen. "I was just thanking James for today, and we got to talking about Pierre..."

"Wonderful news that he is coming home!" James said cheerily, unsure that Clarisse wanted her husband to see her emotion, a thought that proved wrong when, upon Joseph arriving at her side and wrapping his arm around her waist, she almost subconsciously moved closer to him- she really had no inhibitions around her husband, not that he wanted her to have any- beaming tenderly at him for a moment before refocusing her attention on James.

"Indeed it is, I'm sure that he will be a wonderful asset to the church community," Joseph said- and he was very pleased that his stepson... stepson, the word bewildered him...was returning to the country, not only for his mother's sake but for his own- it was clear that he belonged in Genovia, with his family.

"He will be... and he will be able to see his mother and stepfather more often," James added with a knowing smile and Clarisse blushed, but before she could say any more, James clapped his hands together.

"Now, I believe you two need to be on your way- you will have quite a few guests to greet upon your arrival, not to mention the crowds waiting outside to see you- and I am not going to hold the newlyweds back from their adoring public," he teased gently and he almost laughed out loud seeing the mutual winces on their respective faces. "I will be at the reception for a little while, so I'll see you there... now go!" James commanded in an authoritative tone and both Clarisse and Joseph looked at each other a little sheepishly before turning to go.

They were almost at the doorway when Clarisse turned to him again.

"I know you saw a lot more than you can say over the years... but thank you for being there for my family and I... I will never forget it."

"Neither will I," he murmured once the door had closed behind them and he sank back in his chair. "Neither will I."


End file.
